Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Wierd Word Power #2

CAR SICKNESS:The feeling you get when the car payment is due.

Etc:A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. FATHER:A banker provided by nature.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

SEAMSTRESS: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.

SUBDUED(sub-dood'): Like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official. VEGETARIAN:Old Indian word for bad hunter.

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."

Jumbo Shrimp: an oxymoron.

Mouse (n): An animal which strews its path with fainting women. (Ambrose Bierce)

Architect (n): One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. (Ambrose Bierce)

Lighthouse (n): A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician. (Ambrose Bierce)

Weed—a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. —Ralph Waldo Emmerson

Spring—An experience in immortality.—Henry D. Thoreau

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